9:26

Sometimes, usually when I'm too drunk, stoned or lazy to spend eight minutes making real pasta, I make a packet of ramen noodles and don't add the flavoring.  Additionally, I've pioneered the art of making open-faced grilled cheese sandwiches in the microwave.  I call it "cheese bread".  Some day, I'll release a cookbook of my lethargic culinary endeavors and make millions.  Until then, I will resign myself to the onslaught of ridicule and disgust of my family.